yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
