question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
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He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
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I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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