quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
