that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
