hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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