its not stalking. its research.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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