I didn't shave. On purpose
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
