i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
