Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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