K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
