SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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