So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
we're making bets on your personal life
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
