hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
