we need to drink 2009 down the drain
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
