I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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