Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize