When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
