what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
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I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
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He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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