Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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