She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
she woke up with a sticky ear
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
