My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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