i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
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just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
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I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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