By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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