im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
