I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize