And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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