i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
