ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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