Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
