Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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