a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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