I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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