I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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