i just wanna soil my oats bro
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
