Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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