thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
