im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We have started to decorate penises.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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