At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
