i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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