if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
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