She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
sex in a hospital.. check
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
