Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
We are two peas in an std pod
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
