i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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