I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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