I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
