Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
