you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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