every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize