So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
