Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
