So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
they're like a gay fantastic four
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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