Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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