Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize