I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
